I am the eternal optimist. I live in gratitude. I live in awe and fascination with the natural beauty of the world which surrounds us. I am curious. I am industrious. I persevere through thick and thin. I believe who you are when no one is watching is exactly how you show up in this world in every single thing that you do. I believe in serendipity. I believe the universe provides in unimaginable ways. If you can slow down enough to feel to the core of your being…you might just see it and feel it and know.

---

“YOU ARE WHO YOU ARE WHEN NO ONE IS WATCHING”
~ JAY SHETTY ~ THINK LIKE A MONK

When most people hear that you lost your job due to a worldwide pandemic they grovel at you with apologetic sorrow and pity. To me it was the greatest GIFT! I have worked since the time I was 13 years old. When the world pulled the plug on my life’s sustenance I made a decision. I promised myself that I would not get caught up in the toxicity that is the media. I took a couple weeks to let the rumble of emotion settle. I allowed myself to live without schedule or worry and it was odd. The thing I discovered was that I was craving PURPOSE. So I shifted…

“THE WAY WE DO ANYTHING IS THE WAY WE DO EVERYTHING”
~ MARTHA BECK ~

I love having a solid purpose and foundation to launch forward from into my life. Not working was the strangest, most paralyzing feeling I’d ever experienced. I had the freedom I’ve always wanted and at the same time my brain did not know what to do with it. I knew I needed to lock in some daily rituals to ground me down into my purpose. I promised myself I would not mash my ass on the couch and turn into a Netflix and junk food zombie. I put myself on a schedule, the hours of which were quite similar to when I was working. Up early for some morning exercise, showered and working on something by 9am. It felt good. 

YOGA . PELOTON . BEACH . HIKE . SUP . LIVE MUSIC
(THESE ARE THE THINGS THAT KEEP ME SANE)

But there was this empty feeling. I dug a little bit and decided to enhance my knowledge base. Knowing my background as a creative professional was a solid foundation, I thought, what could I do to position myself better for when the job market opens back up. I decided to take some classes in Digital Marketing. Turns out the three courses that I took also had deep seeded entrepreneurial roots. I learned alot about myself, including the realization that I do not want to become a digital marketer for anyone else. If I am going to work that hard at something it is going to be for myself. 

ENTREPRENUER SPOTLIGHT

With all this free time … what is a girl to do? Being the industrious human that I have always been, I meddle and get involved with things to keep my mind busy and continue to grow personally and professionally. I learned this thing called NETWORKING. I spent the better portion of each day doing just that. Seeking out networking groups that support small businesses. I was merely seeking connection and opportunity. One night I woke up and thought, what if I start promoting small businesses? The Entrepreneur Spotlight was born!

I began interviewing small business owners. The show was literally all about them. I sent them a questionnaire that prompted them to tell the story behind how their small business came about. At the end of the program, they were given the opportunity to plug their business and whatever call to action they wanted to share with the audience. It was a BIG HIT! I had 14 consecutive weeks of live weekly guests. I ran the show even while I was on my two week cross country excursion. What a wonderful opportunity this turned into, I have met and became virtual friends with so many wonderfully interesting humans! All during a worldwide pandemic when human connection was in severe lack. This show kept me going and motivated me through what could have easily been emotionally the hardest time of my life.

ALL THE THINGS…
HEALTHY . WEALTHY . WISE

I began to realize that The Entrepreneur Spotlight was limiting me in what topics I could feature on the show and it came to a halt. It took me a little bit, but I discovered that with my background and varied interests both professionally and personally I needed to branch out. Once again…it came to me in the middle of the night…I wanted to feature ALL THE THINGS…HEALTHY. WEALTH. WISE…and my new programming was born. I am now able to feature any guest, any topic, go solo or with a wingmate!

VIBRANT BALANCED LIFE

I have lived my whole life seeking balance. Work-life balance. It is most certainly a difficult road to travel. 40+ hours a week grinding for an entity that at the drop of a hat sets you free into the world when it is no longer convenient or profitable for them to keep you. The harsh reality is no one out there can take better care of you than YOU. 

This realization took me 19 years to discover. And when that light turned on in my heart and soul I resigned from a job that treated me poorly, would not advance me, stopped giving raises even though the cost of living keeps rising every year, and did not value the skill and professionalism of my work style. I resigned.

I moved on. To a new industry. I was a leader, a director and all the things to that office and that team. It only took a short time for the pressure to ensue. The amount that was expected of me was equal to that of three employees. I am conscientious, I am a hard worker and I persevere. Somehow I got it all done. To my own detriment. The amount of stress that I was under in my short two and half years at this company spiraled my mindset out of control. My body slowly creeped into malfunction. My adrenal glands were literally fried. My body was not producing cortisol and the level of stress I was under created an environment where my Lyme Disease reared its ugly head. 

I lived day in and day out with brain fog, chronic pain and exhaustion. I was depressed and irritable as all the systems of my body were misfiring. I could not take it any longer. One morning I mustered up the courage and told my boss I needed to resign. I gave ample notice and left on amicable terms. I continued on with them as a freelance designer for several months. Even that triggered stress and anxiety in my body, mind and spirit. So I let it go…

Several months later I got a call. A company I had been interviewing with that fell off the face of the planet came back into my orbit. I had my reservations, but they made me an offer I could not refuse. I stepped down in rank, but was going to make more money with a bonus structure in place that rewarded me quarterly. I figured what have I got to lose? So off I went, back into the arena, the grind, the rat race. 

I was only there for about a month when I realized I was working at a highly dysfunctional establishment. They were operating at a level similar to what my very first big girl job felt like way back in 1998. Every single thing that happened was truncated and slow and disorganized and not communicated well. A room full of millennials that were expert complainers without the skill to create solutions. I knew this role was temporary, a stepping stone, an awakening on my path. I was there for 9 months and my position was eliminated at the onslaught of the pandemic. 

THE SHIFT

I have spent a lot of time building out a portfolio website for my graphic design company. This was a personal vendetta for me. I just needed to get it done. My vision is complete! Although I am no longer driven by that part of my life…Strange but true. Something I have worked so long and so hard building and cultivating just does not feel right any more. A portal on the world wide web that houses the me that is a designer will live on forever in tandem with my photography portfolio.

RE-SCAFFOLDING

I am happy to say that the re-scaffolding of my life has been the most fulfilling, yet challenging process of my life to date. I am delving into my passion. I am teaching public Yoga classes. I am teaching private Yoga classes. I manage Yoga schedules, mentor and coach other Yoga humans. I manage members and coordinate events at a luxury spa. I am enrolled in an advanced level Yoga Teacher Training which I graduate from on June 27th! I have a mentor and coach who is guiding, motivating and inspiring me as the re-scaffolding continues to unfold. 

I currently feel quite possibly the happiest and healthiest I have ever been. It is odd to me that the several hundred positions that I have applied for that line up with what traditional careers might be like for some, just have not come to fruition. The health and wellness industry is thriving and I am at the forefront of its expansion as Massachusetts propels forward into a completely open restriction free Summer 2021! 

Just over a year ago I resigned. Just over a month ago my position was eliminated as part of the Covid-19 downsizing of Corporate America. Just over two months now, I have spent sheltering in place all by my lonesome…well, there is Buddy and a fish named Magoo to keep me company.

WHAT NOW???

Realizing that the world economy as we know it will never be the same again. I thought…What do I want my life to look like on the other side of all of this? The first thing I did was assess my situation. What did I have that was an asset that could help me on my journey? What things do I already own that can help me? What things in my life are holding me back? Are there people, things or habits that I need to let go of? I had to lean in, cuz the faster I can get to acceptance, the less pain I will endure, and I can simply move on.

COURAGE AND FEAR ARE INVERSE RELATIONSHIPS
WHICH EVER ONE YOU LEAN INTO WILL GROW
CHOOSE WISELY

I got rid of unnecessary subscriptions/memberships immediately. I had a meeting with my financial advisor. I leaned into MLM and our Business School. I have gained so much benefit from the teachings of my leaders the value is unparalleled. Those who speak from the heart, have constant contact, are generous with their time, wisdom and advise and choose to offer solutions and inspiration daily that are applicable to not only the business we are trying to build but to so many other avenues and aspects of life. This is true servant leadership. The only thing in my life that has given me this much wisdom and value has been my 500+ hours of yoga teacher training.  Everything I have learned has allowed me to come into a place where my courage is greater than my fear. 

COME INTO A PLACE WHERE YOUR COURAGE IS GREATER THAN YOUR FEAR

Loosing a job is not the end of the world. Getting laid off is not an uncommon thing, especially right now. It is not unheard of. It is not the worst thing I have been through and I am about halfway through my life, and I doubt it will be the most severe thing I have to overcome in my time on this planet. I have literally been treating this time with gratitude. When else in my career will I be paid to stay at home and figure out the next chapter of my life. Sabbatical.

SABBATICAL

So I keep an open mind. I feel like the things I need to move forward in life are coming at me in full force. I signed up for a ten day digital marketing course that two of my colleagues were running. It was so inspiring and got me into an entrepreneurial spirit. After the ten days was up, I signed up for another digital marketing course. This one is a 30 Day Challenge and I will come out of it with a completed project that will position me to be profitable in the market place. More to come on that in the near future!

My lesson to you is to not get caught up in the fear of uncertainty. The quicker you get on the other side of fear, the quicker you can move on. The sooner you let go of fear, you will find ease and be able to move onward and upward. Dig deep. Find the courage to rise above. Get out of your comfort zone. Lean in. Pull through. Push forward. Figure out what you want and GET ON IN! And Remember: A closed mind is the most expensive thing you can own that will cost you everything. 

Don’t get me wrong…there was some drama leading up to the soundness in my mind…so here ya go:

Friday the 13th. March 2020

Panic meeting from the boss lady. FaceTime. She’s out scouting locations. Her phone is shaking cuz she is jolting around trying to find a private place to talk to us and the overall state of panic and uncertainty is plastered all over her face. It was quick. Basically, gather your things and plan to work from home the following week. Any questions? No. We all go back to our desks and start preparing files and paperwork to send/bring home. The office is buzzing as every department had just got out of the exact same meeting. Panic. Fear. Worry. I get my shit together and get the eff out of there as fast as humanly possible.

PANIC . FEAR . WORRY

Friday the 27th. March 2020

This is the day a friend stops by to take a “Front Porch Project” pic of me and Buds. Accept it is not on my front steps, it is taken in what I call my backyard which is the beautiful ocean scape approximately 800 feet from my front door. Photographer friend used to work in my office. She’s like…what do you think is gonna happen with work? I’m like I have no idea, just taking each day as it comes. That is so me.

No lie…it felt like just moments after she drove off to her next front porch, I get a meeting on my calendar for after work hours. I am like seriously, this whole WFH situation has been a shit storm and now they want me to sit in a meeting on a Friday after quitting time? I’m like…whatever. Next thing I know I am getting an email from the CEO of the company. I’m like “oh great. Here we go…” This letter was obviously piece mailed together, the fonts and spacing were in all different sizes and so obvi written by different people. I am like c’mon now…let’s get it together you are a million dollar company. 

This email was basically a WARNING. The company plans to layoff, furlough and force job sharing. But they can’t let us know who or what is happening for sure until Wednesday of the following week. I let that settle for a moment. I am like seriously…It would be so much easier to cope if you just ripped the bandaid off in one fell swoop. Instead we get to chew on that over the weekend and a few days into the following week. How thoughtful of them.

Then boss lady calls an immediate meeting…we all hop on the video chat and have to sit there and wait for like five minutes cuz one girl is out and about with her son and nowhere near something she can video chat on. So we wait. We sit in the virtual meeting room and no one says a word. They just stare at each other and wait for the last of our group to hop on. Finally, we are all together and then boss lady has nothing really to tell us that is any different from the shite letter we just got from the CEO.

PANIC . FEAR . WORRY

I pour some vodka, call my Front Porch Project friend, commiserate momentarily. Then go for a quick hike at my favorite place to go seal watching and all is well in the world again. Monday arrives and we have our first thing in the morning virtual staff meeting and everyone looks solemn. And the days progress just like that until doomsday.

Wednesday the 1st. April 2020

Yep. April Fool’s Day 2020 was no joke. The whole day was just weird. Surreal even. You know something is going to happen but you have no idea when or how. About mid-morning I can see the boss lady’s calendar fill up with a sequence of fifteen minute meetings back-to-back. I’m like it’s starting. Here we go. But I did not get a meeting invite? G-chat from co-worker who was curious if I knew or heard anything. I notice boss lady’s calendar of events has disappeared. In my head, they made them private, the fact that I could see them was an oversight on their part…Then I get a text from another coworker saying she is safe, we are safe, our department is safe. That is the last time I heard from that person ever again.

And then I get the meeting invite. And that was it…my email got shut down while I was on the phone with HR. Never in my life have I felt more like a number in sea of whatevers. The conversation was scripted and one sided. I tried to make inquiries but she just kept talking over me. I remained professional and understanding to the situation. They even thanked me for that. It truly was a heartless and faceless transaction. I had to go in and clean out my desk several weeks later. That was like going back to a crime scene especially with the mask and gloves on.  

BUMMED IS WHAT YOU ARE WHEN YOU GET THE CALL FROM HR AND YOU LOOSE YOUR JOB